document.write('
    \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  1. \x0a With freak accident after freak accident piling up over at CERN, the idea of time traveling particles returning from the future to prevent their own discovery is beginning to seem less and less far fetched.\x0a \x0a \x0a
    2. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  2. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
    3. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
  3. \x0a \x0a
    How To Install A Home Security System
    \x0a \x0a \x0a
    \x0a


    1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots. 

    2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine. 

    3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. 

    4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 




    “Bubba, 

    Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer.     Be back in an hour. 
    Don’t mess with the pit  bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and
    messed him up bad.     I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell
    from all the blood.     Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house. 

    Better wait outside.     Be right back.

    Cooter”

    \x0a
    \x0a
    4. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  4. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
    5. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  5. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
    6. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  6. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
    7. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  7. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
    8. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  8. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a
    9. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  9. \x0a Anything called “Quantum Entanglement” is awesome.\x0a \x0a \x0a
    \x0a

    Anything called “Quantum Entanglement” is awesome.

    \x0a
    \x0a \x0a
    10. \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a
  10. \x0a Obama calls Kanye a "Jackass".\x0a \x0a \x0a
    \x0a

    The audio was recorded just before Obama went on camera to do an interview with CNBC. Before the interview began, Obama — referring to Kanye’s antics on stage — said “I thought that was really inappropriate,” then adding, “He’s a jackass.”

    \x0a
    \x0a \x0a
    11. \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a \x0a\x0a \x0a \x0a
');